The Epic Couch Journey (an episode from the life of EDS)

On Friday, 23rd May 2014, the Erasmus Debating Society Spetsnaz forces conducted a peaceful operation for the Greater Good of the Society. And the comfort of its honourable Board.

The operating area included the significant part of the territory of city of Rotterdam, Netherlands.

Everything began few days earlier with the post on the Society’s Facebook group where an owner of the certain piece of furniture published a decision to hand it over to anyone within the EDS.

Immediately after noticing this statement, Madam President herself expressed a will to make the couch a piece of Boardroom’s equipment. With the support of the whole Board, the decision was made so quickly, that all world’s legislatures should learn the decision-making process from our Board.

The later discussion (or more properly: debate) in this thread regarded the logistic issue connected with bringing the couch from its current place of residence to the Universe’s Control Centre, also known as the Boardroom.

Lack of the resources within EDS Board and members, made me and comrade debater Harald, as prepared for all circumstances East Europeans, to solve this problem on our own, what was stated by the latter one to the other members and had been approved by Madam President.

On the mentioned day, at 5 pm CET, we left the Woudestein campus to reach the current geographical position of this very artefact, which turned out to be Marconiplein in Rotterdam. Operation began with taking the object of interest out of the house, using Traditional Dutch Narrow Rounded Stairs (TDNRS, for short), what is a bit of engineering challenge.

After having this done, we proceeded to the metro station Marconiplein in attempt to use RET (Rotterdamse Elektrische Tram – the public transport company of Rotterdam) services in order to safely deliver it to the destination. Unfortunately, despite the fact of getting through the gate, RET stuff, probably being jealous of how awesome piece of furniture was handed over to the EDS, or just corrupted by the enemies of the Society, absolutely did not allow us to bring it on the carrier, regardless of our positive attitude and will for negotiations (we are debaters after all!).

The only solution that was left, however had the lowest probability of failure, unless the weather would change (what actually was not predicted for that day), was taking it using our bare hands. And this is what we have undertaken.

As students of Econometrics and Economics, we decided to plan the most optimal way to carry the desired object to the desired place which would not take us more than one day.

We proceeded in the proper direction, and stopped at the first pub to enjoy a Heineken beer, while sitting on the couch.

Moving in western part of the city, we have noticed at least two girls who cheered us up and made inquiries about the fate of carried by us piece of furniture. Thank you!

Later on we moved few hundred meters, regularly changing positions until finding the optimal one. One has been found, the next longer stop was at the Subway in Westblaak to charge our batteries.

Our last stop before reaching the destination was at Voorschoterlaan, where we enjoyed the second beer. This time it was Trappist Dubbel.

I find it also important to mention that we have not been left completely on our own! The hot line with Madam President was maintained and the Board demanded regular information about our position, condition and estimated time of arrival.

The object was delivered to the N building on Woudestein campus around 8:20 pm. No damage to the couch, us and random civilians, including hipsters, has been reported.

At the destination, we were welcomed by no one else, but Secretary General of the Communist Party of the Erasmus Debating Society, who opened us the door to a “place where there is no darkness”, i.e. the Boardroom, since the light is always on there. She was really enthusiastic about offering any help while dragging it upstairs, although the N building does not have TDNRS.

After placing the couch in the random place in the Boardroom, which turned out to be exactly in the middle of it, we were offered to have one of the drinks which were present in the Boardroom. The only drinks that were noticed by us, were alcoholic ones, so Harald finished the bottle of Glen Talloch, which he bought himself for the Membersweekend, as far as I remember, and I enjoyed a cup of Czech Slivovica, which was still there since Membersweekend.

This was exactly what we needed to enjoy the feast at the Kralingse Plas lake, which was organised by other members of our Great Society. Welcomed with proper honours, we enjoyed the rest of the evening.